


Memories

by Summer_Sun



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Mentions of Death, Original Characters - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:07:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24175588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Summer_Sun/pseuds/Summer_Sun
Summary: "Conflicted. He wants to throw away the pain but wants to keep it, as those memories are the only remains he has left of his father."[Hello! To whoever finds this haha this is an original work i did for english class and i decided to dump it here just because i was bored]
Kudos: 1





	Memories

**Author's Note:**

> This is still a draft but i wanted to put it here just in case if my laptop becomes a bitch and deletes the file. But enjoy some original character angst!!

I didn’t remember much and I was glad I didn’t. That day was better off forgotten, buried inside the deepest hole anyone has ever dug. Locked and sealed. What was supposed to be a festive celebration ended in flames. 

The monstrous orange flames that enveloped my father’s unconscious body. I tried calling his name countless times, but the voice didn’t reach him. As if the fire was within my throat and burnt my vocal cords to nothing but ash.

I remember losing my ability to feel. Slowly, I felt myself disconnecting from reality, from life. When I closed my eyes. When my eyelids and my pupils refused to see, to focus on my father’s body I was ready to embrace the arms of death. 

Time in the realm of unconsciousness is nonexistent. But I saw many, many memories. My father, my mother and my little brother who in those memories was only a baby.   
My father used to sit with me at my bed. He’d tell me stories and would always have his hands flying around to describe every scene in detail. 

Everything fades suddenly. Drops of ink on paper. Drops of ink on the wooden floor, the blackness of it tainting the cracks.   
“I’ll help you hold the brush,” A familiar voice echoed.  
My heart ached. I know that voice. I can’t reach him. I’m not there. 

The image of paper and ink disappeared. The sky was a shade of light blue and the sun was hidden behind the clouds. I felt tall and around me were countless lotuses, their flowers swaying gently and their petals spread open. We walked on a wooden bridge and stopped.   
“Shall we get some for the vase in your room?” The same voice asked. This time it was closer and was right next to me. He was carrying me and he was smiling. 

The light blue sky darkens into a brighter blue and the sun comes out of hiding.   
The streets were crowded and many sang joyful songs as we walked past them. Fresh fruits, cooked food and expensive colourful silks were everywhere.   
The streets were crowded, but they dispersed when we walked through them.   
“These are your people. Your loyal subjects,” The voice said with a hint of confidence. 

The me who was being carried by him turned to look at his face. He looked back with a grin and his hand ruffled my head.   
“Will you stay with me until I become king?” My own voice startled me.   
“Yes. I’ll never miss it,” He replied with a laugh. 

The scene stopped abruptly. I expected an explosion or the heat of the flames to come for me. Nothing. Emptiness and darkness. I find myself in nothing but the empty space.   
I miss it. I want to see it again. I wanted more. I wanted to see him one last time.   
Let this be a nightmare. I want to wake up. I want to see if everything was only a dream.

I woke up. I woke up gasping for air while praying as hard as I could that the first person I’d see would be my father.  
It wasn’t.  
The face of the palace’s physician came into my blurry vision, followed by my younger brother and then my mother. I stiffened and didn’t say a word as the physician checked for my condition.   
“We must allow him to rest. The young prince’s health hasn’t improved since…” the physician trailed and looked away instead of completing his sentence. 

Their faces were washed with guilt. My brother was the only one who smiled and reached for my hand.   
“You’ll be alright! You’re strong!” he managed, I could hear the forced tone in his voice. How exaggerated that sentence was.   
No, nothing is alright.

Mother had barely any expression on her face. She’s always like that, but I saw the way her brows furrowed whenever our gaze met and how she looked away from me immediately.   
“We are leaving. Let your brother rest,” she said with the same cold tone she always has.  
The warmth of my brother’s hands left me and soon enough, it was only the emptiness of my room that accompanied me. 

I sat on my bed and stared at my hands. My gaze eventually moved to scan the room where everything was the same, except.  
Except.   
The flower vase on my table was empty. The black ink spots on the brown wooden floor were wiped clean. Their existence is disappearing. These little things that reminded me of the past are gone.   
No longer will there be adventures to the festivals, picking lotuses for the vase, calligraphy lessons and exciting stories before bed. 

He’s no longer here. He’s now a mere fragment, nothing but a memory stored in every inch of the palace.   
I couldn’t sleep. Every time I closed my eyes I’d see the same rewind, the same memories played until the day it happened. It hurts to cry, but I’d blink and the tears would start to fall and my chest would hurt, and I won’t be able to breathe properly.   
No one came to comfort me. No one came to say, “I’ll tell you a story to chase away the nightmares.” 

+++

How long has it been? Ten years since his death and only a year left for the kingdom to prepare for the future king’s ceremony. They won’t be crowned just yet, it was only an event to ask for the heaven’s blessings for the new heir.  
One of the events he promised he wouldn’t miss.

The day was chilly. The blue sky was a dim shade of light blue and the sun hid itself, but I still held an umbrella to cover myself. I stood on top of the wooden bridge in the lotus garden. The flowers are still buds and looked like pink floating gems on top of the waters. I heard the choir of birds in the distance and the occasional splash of the koi fishes underneath the bridge.   
It used to be like this too.

I sighed and whispered, “The lotuses aren’t ready to be picked, father.”   
Of course there was no reply, but I hope that wherever he might be he’d always watch over me. It was what I always wished for when I was young. 

“It’s almost the day for the blessings,” I continued.   
I was answered by a louder choir of birds and the sound of footsteps approaching.   
Glancing to my left was my younger brother. He’s grown to my height and he held a tray filled with tea and a bowl of strawberries. 

“It’s almost time for morning snacks,” he smiled and gestured towards the table at the end of the wooden bridge. That area used to have no roof, but was later on built specifically for me from the orders of my mother.   
I smiled at him and we approached the table. 

“You shouldn’t be outside too much. Thankfully the sun’s not out today,” I heard my brother sighed in relief as he laid out the cups and poured the tea.   
I hummed and placed my chin on the back of my hand, my eyes were focused on the two cranes that suddenly landed on the waters. Their thin legs stepped cautiously and their heads moved to scan for tiny animals for food. 

“Brother?”   
My eyes blinked a few times and turned to face my brother who only laughed at my bewildered state.  
“How have you been?” he asked.  
I took a sip of my own tea before answering his question with the usual, “I’ve been well.” 

“How’s your training?” The same question I ask every time we see each other. 

He laughed nervously and looked away, “Great. We went to train in the mountains weeks ago and I came back unscathed of course.” 

“Must be fun. I wish I could visit you before your break,” I said and took a bite on a strawberry.

“It’s a dangerous place for you. Mother won’t be pleased to find you getting...hurt,” The firmness in his voice faltered at the end. 

I didn’t reply to that. I expected that answer, but I wanted to strike up a normal conversation with my brother. One that doesn’t involve any of us remembering a certain tragedy.  
Ten years and I thought most of us had moved on. Apparently none of us did.   
I’ve always thought that father’s death would impact myself the most, how selfish I was to think that I was the only one who had him to myself. He had other people to tend to, other family members and the kingdom to look after. 

How does he manage all that? How does one truly become a king?  
How do I become a king?   
Could someone as weak as I am reach such expectations?   
Our people, would they want a ruler like I am? 

“Brother?” Once again came my brother’s voice, this time his hand waved in front of my face and his laughter grew louder when I blinked.  
“You’re always distracted. Is the tea not to your liking?” He asked and opened the lid of the teapot, as if that was enough to check whether it was good or not. 

I chuckled. “No, sorry. The tea is great, I just had some thoughts.”

“It’s almost the day of blessings. Well I mean, it’s still a year away,” he stopped for a moment and shook his head, “I don’t mean to rush you or anything! I’m just very looking forward to you, well you know your…” 

“Don’t worry too much about it,” I cut him off. I didn’t want to sound angry, but I want to save him from all the embarrassment and stuttering. Even though there really was nothing to be embarrassed about. 

I tried changing the topic.   
“A king. A king must be able to take care of his subjects,” I started and that got my brother’s attention, he straightened his posture and nodded for me to continue.

“Do you think I could be someone as great as my father?” I asked and immediately regretted it. My eyes widened and I cleared my throat.  
Ah, I shouldn’t have asked that. 

My brother’s shoulder flinched at that question, but he was better at masking that than I did. He grinned and laughed.  
“Of course you would be. Everyone would love you,” he answered with a soft tone. Reassuring me like the good little brother he always is. 

Everyone would love me? Ridiculous.   
I rested my head on my hand and smiled at my brother. His smile slowly faded and he let out a nervous laughter, his eyes drifted from mine and looked around. Like a child who was afraid of being discovered by their parents.   
Oh dear brother. Flattering will get you nowhere. 

The both of us know, no the whole kingdom knows that the first prince is unapproachable and the second prince was the friendly sunshine, while the first prince was the distant moon.   
“I hope they do,” I said, pretending to agree.   
Perhaps deep down, he too doesn’t agree. Only saying white lies to make me happy just like everyone else, except for father.   
He’d never lie to me. He’d never tell me white lies.   
Oh. That’s not true.   
He left me. 

Without warning I laughed. The sound startled my brother who was pouring himself another cup of tea. My shoulders shook while I tried to stop myself, my hand was already covering my mouth and after some time I managed to calm down.   
My brother had a worried look on his face and he was already standing up.

“Are you...Are you alright?” he hesitated.

Still with my hand over my mouth I gave him a nod and he sat back down, still with hesitation. And the atmosphere was silent once again.  
This is awkward. I can’t even engage a nice conversation with my own brother.  
I finished my tea quickly and sighed. 

Not long after that, the sun peeked shyly from the clouds. It sheds its rays upon the pink oval-shaped lotus buds.  
“The sun is finally out,” I said.

My brother shifted in his seat and looked at the now bright lotus garden, golden light surrounding it.   
“You’re right!” He exclaimed.

Seeing that the sun finally showed itself, I picked up my umbrella and stood up from my seat and my brother did the same.   
“I’ll take my leave now. I’m very sorry,” I told him as I opened the umbrella.

Being the good little brother he is, he didn’t oppose me and instead bowed. “Don’t be. Have a pleasant rest brother.”

I nodded and stepped out with the umbrella over my head. But I stopped and I glanced back at my brother who seemed to notice my actions. He tilted his head and raised his brows. 

“You know? I think you’d make a better king,” I told him. Funny how his expression slowly forms into a look of disbelief.   
Disbelief? Or was it the look of being validated? Validated to be king.

I chuckled and turned to leave, I raised a hand to wave back at him as I walked away.  
“It’s up to you how you’ll interpret that. Good day, brother.” 


End file.
